Rambles: Fidelity

I fuck like a man.

That is, I pick up someone attractive to me, or someone who promises something interesting, and take them home for sex. There's not always phone numbers exchanged, nor Facebooks or even "we should do this again sometime"s.

I feel little guilt about what I do with men, unless it affects my wider life. I fucked Joshua and loved it, and in a different world we'd have continued to meet to hang out and have great sex for hours at a time. But once the euphoria of conquest and a job well done wore off, I realised that it had the potential to haunt me for time to come.

He has a girlfriend; someone who I will work with every day in the near future. There will be social outings and Sunday barbecues, a litany of unspoken words and memories of hands and tongues and cocks. His guilt will stop him from making another move, and his girlfriend will hold him in monotamy* forever. If he's clever, he won't tell her. It reflects badly on him too, of course - it takes two to tango, gotta crack eggs to make an omelette, no point crying over spilt milk... The clichés abound.

If he possesses just a little foresight, he won't say a word to his girlfriend - their relationship is still in embryonic stages, for all that she's moving in with him. As Ari Gold says, "Deny 'til you die" - it's safer overall. I'll even put my altruistic hat on, and say that it's not just about me, it's about a fledgling romance finding its wings, for all that the two of us did our best to kick the stool out from below. Do you prefer your metaphors shaken or mixed?

I can split the effects of extramarital sex from emotional fidelity quite easily - in fact, I could do it even before I'd heard of open relationships. Emotional cheating has never occurred for me - not that it may not happen in the future, but I can separate the two (very different) issues quite easily. However, I can understand why some people can't do the same, making them feel guilty for physically cheating on their partners, even while their heads are unaffected. I just hope that the guilt of others won't throw a chainsaw in the works.


Stay tuned for the next incoherent ramble from yours truly!


*Monotamy: Monogamy+Monotony